6:03 AM
Nice Jokes about India and Pakistan
kerala friend
In order to develop friendly relationship between the two countries, Atal Behari Vajpayee and Pervez Musharraf decided to visit each other's country regularly.
The first visit was by Vajpayee to Pakistan. There Musharraf showed him Pakistan's modern telecommunication systems. It was so good that Vajpayee made a call to the Devil in hell and talked to him for 5 minutes! The bill for the call came to only Re.1.
When Vajpayee came back, he also wanted India's telecommunication systems to be at the best when Musharraf visited India. Suitable arrangements were made.Mushrraf came to India, visited the telecom department and talked to Zia-ul-Haq in hell for 5 minutes. But this time, the bill was Rs. 500!Musharraf asked with a sarcastic smile - "Why are telephone calls to hell so costly in India ?"
A High level diplomat gave a smiling reply - "From Pakistan to hell, it is a local call, Sir, while from India, it is long distance!".
The first visit was by Vajpayee to Pakistan. There Musharraf showed him Pakistan's modern telecommunication systems. It was so good that Vajpayee made a call to the Devil in hell and talked to him for 5 minutes! The bill for the call came to only Re.1.
When Vajpayee came back, he also wanted India's telecommunication systems to be at the best when Musharraf visited India. Suitable arrangements were made.Mushrraf came to India, visited the telecom department and talked to Zia-ul-Haq in hell for 5 minutes. But this time, the bill was Rs. 500!Musharraf asked with a sarcastic smile - "Why are telephone calls to hell so costly in India ?"
A High level diplomat gave a smiling reply - "From Pakistan to hell, it is a local call, Sir, while from India, it is long distance!".
During the war with Pakistan, Banta used his intelligence to kill many Pakistani soldiers.
He would hide behind the bushes and shout Pakistani names like - Imran Khan etc. and the soldier named Imran Khan would get up to say "I am here !" Then Banta would shoot him down.
This went on till Banta almost wiped out all the soldiers single handedly! Suddenly the Pakistani commander realized that Banta was killing all his soldiers by fooling them.
So he decides to use Banta's own method to kill him and starts calling him names like Banta etc.
Banta realizing that the Pakistani was using his trick, suddenly says "Who called me?" and the Commander gets up to say "I called you."
Banta shoots him down!
He would hide behind the bushes and shout Pakistani names like - Imran Khan etc. and the soldier named Imran Khan would get up to say "I am here !" Then Banta would shoot him down.
This went on till Banta almost wiped out all the soldiers single handedly! Suddenly the Pakistani commander realized that Banta was killing all his soldiers by fooling them.
So he decides to use Banta's own method to kill him and starts calling him names like Banta etc.
Banta realizing that the Pakistani was using his trick, suddenly says "Who called me?" and the Commander gets up to say "I called you."
Banta shoots him down!
God was in the process of creating the universe.
And he was explaining to his subordinates "Look everything should be in balance.
For every 10 deer there should be a lion.
Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States.
I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension....
And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes....
And here is south America. I have given them lots of forests.
But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests... So you see fellows, everything should be in balance."
One of the angels asked... "God, what is this beautiful country here?"
God said "Aha...that is the crown piece of all. INDIA. My most precious creation.
It has understanding and friendly people. Sparkling streams, serene mountains.
A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live.
Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold....."
The angel was quite surprised "But God you said everything should be in balance."
God replied "Look at the neighbors I gave them"
And he was explaining to his subordinates "Look everything should be in balance.
For every 10 deer there should be a lion.
Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States.
I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension....
And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes....
And here is south America. I have given them lots of forests.
But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests... So you see fellows, everything should be in balance."
One of the angels asked... "God, what is this beautiful country here?"
God said "Aha...that is the crown piece of all. INDIA. My most precious creation.
It has understanding and friendly people. Sparkling streams, serene mountains.
A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live.
Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold....."
The angel was quite surprised "But God you said everything should be in balance."
God replied "Look at the neighbors I gave them"
General Zia driving round Islamabad came across long queues of Pakistanis outside several embassies wanting visas and entry permits to go abroad.
He got out of his car and joined a line to find out why so many people wanted to leave the country.
No sooner did people see their President with them they left the queue to return to their homes.
President Zia asked them why they were doing so. They replied: "If you are leaving Pakistan there is no need for us to go."
He got out of his car and joined a line to find out why so many people wanted to leave the country.
No sooner did people see their President with them they left the queue to return to their homes.
President Zia asked them why they were doing so. They replied: "If you are leaving Pakistan there is no need for us to go."
Three guys, a Pak, a Sri Lankan and an Indian are out walking together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total" says the Genie.
The Sri Lankan says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm.
I want the land to be forever fertile in Sri Lanka." With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'FOOM' the land in Sri Lanka was forever made fertile for farming.
The Paki was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Pakistan, so that no foreigners can come into our precious state."
Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Pakistan.
The Indian asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the state. Nothing can get in or out."
The Indian says, "My wish is that you fill it up with water."
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total" says the Genie.
The Sri Lankan says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm.
I want the land to be forever fertile in Sri Lanka." With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'FOOM' the land in Sri Lanka was forever made fertile for farming.
The Paki was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Pakistan, so that no foreigners can come into our precious state."
Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Pakistan.
The Indian asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the state. Nothing can get in or out."
The Indian says, "My wish is that you fill it up with water."
Through the center of Lahore there's the new Indo-Pak train speeding along (Samjhuata Express or whatever - which goes between India and Pak).
In one compartment of the train there are four people.
A beautiful vivacious young woman, an old matronly woman, a Pakistani soldier, and our own Santa Singh.
Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel.
It is completely dark. Then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap.
When the train exits the tunnel, the Pakistani soldier is holding the side of his face, and Santa Singh is grinning his face off.
The old matronly woman thinks : "Now that's a fine young woman, the Pakistani soldier tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one!"
The young woman is thinking : "Now that's a strange Pakistani soldier, he'd rather kiss that old hag than me."
The Pakistani soldier is thinking : "Now that's a smart Indian, he steals the kiss and I get slapped."
And Santa Singh is thinking : "Gee I'm smart! We go through the tunnel, I kiss my hand and get away with slapping a Pakistani soldier."
In one compartment of the train there are four people.
A beautiful vivacious young woman, an old matronly woman, a Pakistani soldier, and our own Santa Singh.
Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel.
It is completely dark. Then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap.
When the train exits the tunnel, the Pakistani soldier is holding the side of his face, and Santa Singh is grinning his face off.
The old matronly woman thinks : "Now that's a fine young woman, the Pakistani soldier tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one!"
The young woman is thinking : "Now that's a strange Pakistani soldier, he'd rather kiss that old hag than me."
The Pakistani soldier is thinking : "Now that's a smart Indian, he steals the kiss and I get slapped."
And Santa Singh is thinking : "Gee I'm smart! We go through the tunnel, I kiss my hand and get away with slapping a Pakistani soldier."
A brain tumor patient with end-stage disease was informed that he needed an immediate brain transplant operation. The surgeon told him, 'You can have an Indian brain for $10,000 dollars or an American's for $25,000dollars or I can give you 10 gms. of a Paki's brain for $100,000 dollars.'
The patient asked, 'Why is the Paki's brain so much more expensive than the others?'
Well,' replied the surgeon, 'we have to go through a lot of Pakistanis to find 10 gms of brain.'
The patient asked, 'Why is the Paki's brain so much more expensive than the others?'
Well,' replied the surgeon, 'we have to go through a lot of Pakistanis to find 10 gms of brain.'
A Pakistani tourist after a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of Delhi found himself needing to urinate badly. After a long search he could not find any place to you-know, and eventually couldn't control himself and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself.
As soon as he had just started you-know-what, a Delhi police official approached him, 'Hey, What do you think you're doing here?'
Pakistani tourist: 'Sorry I have to Pee'
Police : 'No PP here okay ? Follow me.'
The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around.
Police: 'PP here..... and have a nice day'.
Pakistani tourist : 'Oh Sir, ....... that's very nice of you, is this Indian courtesy?'
Police: 'No.......this is The Pakistani Embassy
As soon as he had just started you-know-what, a Delhi police official approached him, 'Hey, What do you think you're doing here?'
Pakistani tourist: 'Sorry I have to Pee'
Police : 'No PP here okay ? Follow me.'
The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around.
Police: 'PP here..... and have a nice day'.
Pakistani tourist : 'Oh Sir, ....... that's very nice of you, is this Indian courtesy?'
Police: 'No.......this is The Pakistani Embassy
