10:53 PM
Funny story-Puns of the Day
kerala friend
Puns of the Day...
I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania.
A little paper bag was feeling unwell.
So, he took himself off to the doctors.
"Doctor, I don't feel too good," said the little paper bag.
"Hmm, you look OK to me," said the Doctor, "but I'll do a blood test and see what that shows. Come back and see me in a couple of days."
The little paper bag felt no better when he got back for the results.
"What's wrong with me?" asked the little paper bag.
"I'm afraid, you are HIV-positive!" said the doctor.
" No, I can't be. I'm just a little paper bag!" said the little paper bag.
"Have you been having unprotected sex?" asked the doctor.
"NO, I can't do things like that! I'm just a little paper bag!"
"Well have you been sharing needles with other intravenous drug users?" asked the doctor.
"NO, I can't do things like that! I'm just a little paper bag!"
"Perhaps, you've been abroad recently and required a jab or a blood transfusion?" queried the doctor.
"NO, I don't have a passport! I'm just a little paper bag!"
"Well", said the doctor, "are you in a homosexual relationship?"
"NO! I told you I can't do things like that. I'm just a little paper bag!"
"Then, there can be only one explanation." said the doctor. "Your mother must have been a carrier."
A byte, in computer terms, means 8 bits.
A nibble is half that, 4 bits.
Everyone knows two nibbles make a byte.
But did you know half a nibble is twenty-five cents?
Most folks believe that Ben Franklin discovered electricity with his famous kite experiment.
Actually, a women made that discovery possible.
The real story was that Ben Franklin was laying in bed with his wife one night, leaned over and whispered something in her ear.
She told him to go fly a kite.
The rest is history.
She went into a men's clothing store and told the salesgirl,
"I'm looking for something youthful, something wild in a men's pair of slacks."
"Oh," sighed the salesgirl. "Aren't we all?"
Jesus and his disciples were walking around one day, when Jesus said,
"The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9."
The disciples looked very puzzled, and finally asked Peter,
"What on earth does Jesus mean -- 'the Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9?'"
Peter said,
"Don't worry, guys. It's just another one of his parabolas."
A little boy walks in on his parents having sex.
Afterward, he tells his younger brother,
"I don't know what they were doing, but it looked like Daddy was winning."
Now I'll tell you a real story that happened in our Sunday school.
The Kindergarten class was discussing "prayer", and the children seemed aware that the way you end a prayer was with "amen."
Does anyone know what "amen" means, the teacher asked.
There was a long silence.
Then, one little boy piped up, with appropriate, computer-age gestures, and said,
"Well, I think it means, like, "send"
A detective on the drug detail developed seizures.
He is a narcoleptic.
I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania.
A little paper bag was feeling unwell.
So, he took himself off to the doctors.
"Doctor, I don't feel too good," said the little paper bag.
"Hmm, you look OK to me," said the Doctor, "but I'll do a blood test and see what that shows. Come back and see me in a couple of days."
The little paper bag felt no better when he got back for the results.
"What's wrong with me?" asked the little paper bag.
"I'm afraid, you are HIV-positive!" said the doctor.
" No, I can't be. I'm just a little paper bag!" said the little paper bag.
"Have you been having unprotected sex?" asked the doctor.
"NO, I can't do things like that! I'm just a little paper bag!"
"Well have you been sharing needles with other intravenous drug users?" asked the doctor.
"NO, I can't do things like that! I'm just a little paper bag!"
"Perhaps, you've been abroad recently and required a jab or a blood transfusion?" queried the doctor.
"NO, I don't have a passport! I'm just a little paper bag!"
"Well", said the doctor, "are you in a homosexual relationship?"
"NO! I told you I can't do things like that. I'm just a little paper bag!"
"Then, there can be only one explanation." said the doctor. "Your mother must have been a carrier."
A byte, in computer terms, means 8 bits.
A nibble is half that, 4 bits.
Everyone knows two nibbles make a byte.
But did you know half a nibble is twenty-five cents?
Most folks believe that Ben Franklin discovered electricity with his famous kite experiment.
Actually, a women made that discovery possible.
The real story was that Ben Franklin was laying in bed with his wife one night, leaned over and whispered something in her ear.
She told him to go fly a kite.
The rest is history.
She went into a men's clothing store and told the salesgirl,
"I'm looking for something youthful, something wild in a men's pair of slacks."
"Oh," sighed the salesgirl. "Aren't we all?"
Jesus and his disciples were walking around one day, when Jesus said,
"The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9."
The disciples looked very puzzled, and finally asked Peter,
"What on earth does Jesus mean -- 'the Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9?'"
Peter said,
"Don't worry, guys. It's just another one of his parabolas."
A little boy walks in on his parents having sex.
Afterward, he tells his younger brother,
"I don't know what they were doing, but it looked like Daddy was winning."
Now I'll tell you a real story that happened in our Sunday school.
The Kindergarten class was discussing "prayer", and the children seemed aware that the way you end a prayer was with "amen."
Does anyone know what "amen" means, the teacher asked.
There was a long silence.
Then, one little boy piped up, with appropriate, computer-age gestures, and said,
"Well, I think it means, like, "send"
A detective on the drug detail developed seizures.
He is a narcoleptic.
